Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
