Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize