She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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