it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
