i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize