I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
