if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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