is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
