Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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