South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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