Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
