no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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