There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
