Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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