shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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