Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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