I am puke
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize