dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
