Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
