well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize