He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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