just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
