Im at strip club and am horny
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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