This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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