I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
