I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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