My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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