Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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