yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
