i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
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