I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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