apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
