I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
