You can't special order awesome
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
