i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I need water and some morals
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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