I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
