Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
