i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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