You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
