I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
