Yo dont text me then not text me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
