I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
