dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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