**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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