Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
