why didn't you poke me back
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
