with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
