I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
