My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
