think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No...this little piggys going to the bar
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
