I am in a vortex of obligation.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
