yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
