I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My vagina is officially offended.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
