My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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