I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My vagina is officially offended.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
