I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
