guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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