i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
